Plan's don't always work
by dreamland4
Summary: Merlin gets fed up with Arthur's bullying and comes up with a plan to get him back.  I own nothing of Merlin but love.


**Comments: This has been written for Camelot4eva. Thank you for the idea, I pray I have done it justice. Please review if you can.**

"MERLINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN are you a complete IDIOT!" Arthur's voice bellowed down the corridor making him and the guards jump.

"What have I done now?" Merlin said as he entered the Prince's chambers.

Arthur looked at him disgusted "It is what have I done now My Lord, or Sire, or Prince Arthur the great master!"

Merlin rolled his eyes, he was in one of those moods...it was going to be a very long day "What have I done now Sire?"

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS MERLIN?" Arthur poked Merlin hard in the chest with each word he spoke.

"Wednesday?" he said moving back and rubbing the pending bruise that was developing rapidly on his chest.

Arthur raised his hands up in the air "Well at least you know what day it is...now prey tell me Merlin is there anything you are...I don't know maybe FORGETTING?"

Merlin racked his brain for what on earth Arthur was bumbling on about and then it hit him 'damn' "The Tournament?"

Arthur hit him over the back of the head "THE TOURNAMENT...Well done MERLIN, NOW WHERE IS MY POLISHED ARMOUR?"

Merlin closed his eyes cursing the fact that he had forgotten, "I will get it"

Arthur hit him again around the head "5 minutes MERLIN or I will have your head...understand me?"

Merlin ran out of his chambers and down the corridor nearly knocking over the Sir Leon on the way "Sorrryy" he grabbed Arthur's dirty armour and on the way back placed a spell on them which made them instantly shine.

"There you go!" Arthur looked at the shining armour then at Merlin.

"IDIOT" he added his final insult before he put the armour on.

And that was the start of Merlin's day...he picked up another pile of horse manure and felt his insides churn. Arthur had lost the tournament and had blamed his bad start to the morning as the reason for him losing and so Merlin after hours of abuse now had to spend the whole night knee deep in !

So Merlin was now exhausted his head throbbing with all the abuse he had had today...he sat down for a moment feeling he could no longer stand. His destiny was to make Arthur the king and at this moment he didn't think he could make that long journey.

Merlin fell asleep slumped up against the side of the stables.

"Merlin...oh Merlin" The sound of Arthur's voice echoed through his mind and then he woke up suddenly to find Arthur staring at him a mixture of amusement and anger...his arms crossed.

"Arthur...I was just" Merlin stood up looking around him as if an excuse would present itself.

"Prey tell me...what were you doing?" he wanted to hear the excuse...just so he could make his life more miserable.

Merlin ran his hands through his hair thinking of what to say "I was just...making ...checking..." Merlin leant down to the level he would have been sleeping and Arthur leaned down looking at where he was.

"You were just making sure all areas were clean?" Arthur offered.

Merlin smiled "Yes exactly"

"Well you missed a bit" Arthur pushed Merlin and he toppled face down in a pile of horse manure Arthur's laugh was so loud that soon it sounded like more people were witness to it. When Merlin wiped the muck of his face he noticed a few of Arthur's knights laughing as well.

"You will regret that" Merlin mumbled as he pulled straw off his face.

Arthur stopped laughing giving Merlin a challenging look "Oh Merlin, there is nothing you could say or do that would have any effect on me at all...so my suggestion is you get going, you have a lot of cleaning up to do!"

Arthur left, laughing all the way and Merlin kicked the wall...his first idea for revenge was to give Arthur another dose of Donkey Ears..."To easy" he mumbled as he cleaned the stables.

No Arthur needed something bigger, something that would really wind him up. The only person on this land that could get a reaction from Arthur was Gwen. Now how to get Gwen to help him in his endeavours? Merlin sighed he knew Gwen would never be involved in anything as petty as revenge, especially to Arthur...it had to be subtle! And then it hit him the perfect plan for revenge.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gwen sighed as she walked towards her house, it was late, she was exhausted and she knew that once she opened the door all that waited for her was an empty cold house. 'Stop feeling sorry for yourself' she mentally told herself off and walked up to the door as she did she noticed something on the floor.

Gwen gasped on her door step was a large bunch of orange flowers and a little note, she looked around half expecting to find Arthur, but he was nowhere to be seen. Gwen picked up the note and read it

"_My love... take these flowers as a token of my secret devotion to you. Yours always your SR"_

Gwen held the letter to her heart SR? Who on earth was SR? when she had initially seen the flowers she had dared to hope they were from Arthur, but now she sees that someone had clearly...made a mistake, of course they were probably meant for someone else. She had never had a secret admirer before and was pretty sure she wasn't going to get one now.

So the next morning Guinevere took the flowers from her house and decided to put them in Morgana's room as she did not know who they were intended for, she certainly didn't feel right having them in her house. The admirer would realise his mistake and correct it with another bunch to the correct lady.

Merlin saw Gwen walking along with his flowers intended as part of his plan to get Arthur jealous...why on earth was she carrying them through the castle. "Gwen...nice flowers"

Gwen blushed slightly "Good morning Merlin"

"So did you get them for Morgana?"

Gwen sniffed the flowers and sighed "No someone accidently left them at my house, I thought they would cheer her up"

Merlin internally groaned "Someone left flowers accidently at your house?" he had to play it cool, Gwen was very good at spotting a lie.

"Yes, with a note intended for another from someone called SR...I feel bad I just wish I knew who it was for and then I could make their day as it did mine"

'Damn' Merlin wished he had not written the note so late, it was supposed to say SA for secret admirer...stage one had definitely failed. He needed to step it up a notch and he needed Arthur to see.

So the next night when Gwen got home she found a note and a single rose by her door. Her heart started beating faster as she picked up the token and opened the note...Gwen gasped it was for her, she had a secret admirer "Yours always your secret admirer"

And this went on all week, note after note until Guinevere finally realised it was from Arthur, of course it was! She had been a fool thinking it was someone else. The writing although different, was definitely of a noble hand and his words, she didn't realise that Arthur was so romantic. She would need to thank him, for his gifts.

It took a few more days before Guinevere happened to see Arthur and Merlin walking towards them, it was a busy corridor so she would not have long to thank him.

"Guinevere" Arthur's face lit up and he stopped.

"Arthur" the fact that Guinevere called him Arthur made his smile even wider.

"How are you?"

Gwen blushed he was asking her if she liked the gifts...she could hear approaching footsteps and she knew she didn't have long.

Her hand carefully touched Arthur's arm "Your tokens have warmed my heart...and are greatly appreciated" Arthur looked at her confused and before he could ask Guinevere had gone, he turned to see her walk away.

"What was that about?" Merlin grinned and then wiped the look of his face before Arthur looked at him.

"No idea!"

Arthur's mind kept replaying her words 'Tokens have warmed my heart' he tried to concentrate at the council meeting but he couldn't 'What tokens?'

Merlin rubbed his hands together, his plan was definitely coming together nicely...Arthur had been so caught up in his thoughts that he had not given Merlin any hassle all day.

Xxxxxxxxx

Arthur watched out of the window as Guinevere walked to work, she had a parchment in her hand and kept smiling and holding it to her heart for a moment then reading it again. Arthur crushed the handful of grapes in his hand and the juices ran to the floor.

"What is going on?" Merlin looked out of the window to see Gwen reading his latest poem and smiled. The late nights he had spent researching love poems had paid off!

"Looks like Gwen has got a letter"

Arthur looked at him disgusted "I can see that...but who was it from?"

Merlin tried to looked confused "How would I know?"

Arthur turned to Merlin and wiped the squashed grapes down the front of his jacket "I suggest you find out"

"Of course Sire" and off Merlin went, not to talk to Gwen but to pick some more flowers for tonight.

So when Merlin made it back to Arthur's chambers he found him waiting for him, his arms crossed and an angry look plastered over his face. "Well?"

"It appears that Gwen has a secret admirer" Arthur stood up approaching Merlin.

"What...Who?"

Merlin stepped back a bit "I don't know, I just found out that she has been receiving gifts"

Arthur's heart felt as though it was breaking "Gifts..what kind of gifts?"

"Flowers...poems" Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose trying to think and then he groaned.

"She thinks they are from me" he felt terrible for not being the man to put a smile on her face, he had not seen her so happy...and then anger bubbled in side of him about this secret admirer.

"It appears she does"

A look of determination crossed Arthur's face "First off I need you to find out who this man is?"

"Why do you need to know that?"

"Don't ask stupid questions, just find out" Arthur paced around "In fact your only job is to follow Guinevere and find out who this person is"

"What about your armour, cleaning...horse manure" Arthur waved his hand dismissively.

"That isn't important...this is" Merlin just stood there a goofy smile on his face, so far this had turned out well...he not only made Arthur jealous he had gotten out of doing chores! All in all a good weeks work.

"Merlin...go, find out" Arthur physically pushed Merlin out of the door.

When he slammed the door shut he banged his head against the door 'Damn it...Guinevere thought he was given her tokens of affection' it was not as though he had not thought about doing that...in fact every time he passed flowers or fine silks, he thought on buying her some...but he knew he could not. First off he thought Guinevere would tell him off for doing such a thing given their situation, but now he sees how happy this made her...he felt awful for not doing this a long time ago...and then this other man! he punched the wall.

xxxxx

That evening Gwen came home to find nothing waiting for her and she couldn't help to feel a little disappointed! in fact very disappointed. She hadn't realised in such a short space of time that these notes had become the reason for her to come home, a way for the evenings to not seem so lonely. Gwen reminded herself that her admirer was Arthur and he was very busy.

Xxxxxxx

Gauis kicked Merlin's bed "Get up Merlin...Arthur will string you up!"

Merlin just groaned "I am having a royally approved lie in today" he rolled away from Gauis and placed the pillow on his head.

Gauis looked at him suspiciously "What are you up to Merlin?"

Merlin held the pillow tighter to his head "Well whatever it is, you better not get into any trouble!"

He kicked the bed again getting another groan and left.

xxxxxxxx

Merlin thought he had everything figured out, he would drag out the whole secret admirer thing for a few days, drive Arthur widely jealous and he could get away with his choirs and have a very relaxing few days.

But his plan had not been so well thought out and over the next few days the full weight of his revenge started to rear its ugly head. Arthur had gone from jealousy and wanting to kill every man that Merlin said had smiled at Gwen during his observations! to being depressed and not eating.

And since Merlin had not bothered to keep giving Gwen notes, she had stopped smiling and he would see her eyes red with tears. He felt awful for using Gwen like that and causing her and Arthur such pain.

Gauis found Merlin slumped on his bed "What have you done?"

He sat on Merlin's bed "I have been a terrible friend" Merlin placed his hands over his face and groaned.

Once Merlin had been shouted at by Gauis for his confession...Gauis had actually come up with a very good plan to get him out of this mess.

xxxxxxx

Merlin knocked on Arthur's door the next morning, he found Arthur not in bed but staring out of the window as he approached he could see Arthur was watching Gwen walking towards work, a frown on her face.

"I found out her secret admirer" Arthur sighed.

"Doesn't matter, as long as he made her happy"

This was going to be harder than he thought "I think you are forgetting it was you who made her happy"

Arthur turned to face Merlin "She will find out soon enough that it was not me that gave her such tokens" her turned away again staring out the window.

"What if I was to tell you that her admirer had a change of heart and that he would no longer be giving her any notes?"

"What!" Arthur turned to face Merlin "Who is this idiot?" how dare he hurt Guinevere like that, his hand went for his sword, but it was not there.

"I thought you didn't care?"

Arthur grumbled "I do if he is going to harm her"

Arthur moved past him in search of his sword "How about you don't harm him?"

"Give me his name Merlin" Arthur found his sword and lifted it in the air seeing it was in perfect condition for his task ahead.

Merlin sighed "I have another plan, that involves not killing the secret admirer...but making Gwen happy again and you...Prince Charming"

Arthur looked between his sword and Merlin "What are you talking about?"

And Merlin told him, the plan was simple but if it worked could make both Arthur and Gwen very happy. Arthur had been told that this secret admirer was a servant boy, that once the boy found out Gwen affections lay with a very rough, tough save the world type that he had decided not to risk it and gave up on her. "Pathetic wimp" Arthur had called him.

He had then told Arthur that he could write her a note.

"I could write them for you...Gwen would be none the wiser and her feelings for your would grow"

Arthur bit his lip thinking about the plan, could he lie to Guinevere...the lie would protect her from finding out that her admirer was a sniffling weasel and not the Prince of Camelot and also it would save him looking bad for not doing such a romantic thing. It might even earn him a kiss! Arthur smiled "Excellent idea of mine...get me a parchment"

Merlin reluctantly passed him the parchment "Do you think I should write it?"

"Non sense what clue do you have about women Merlin?...no this needs my expertise"

And Merlin watched Arthur discard parchment after parchment each one with only a few terrible words. "My love is like a stag?" Arthur threw an apple at Merlin's head.

"Do you need a hand?"

"Merlin you are a complete idiot...with no idea on what it take's to woo a women" Arthur looked up to the air, smiled and then continued writing.

Merlin delivered the note just before sunrise, he had not got to see the finished parchment as Arthur would not let him, he dreaded to think what was on it! But hoped his plan worked.

Guinevere looked at her face in the mirror her eyes were red again "Pathetic" she berated herself...Arthur had never written to her before the last few weeks, so why should she find it so hard when he stopped. It was not as though she should expect anything from Arthur and she should have been grateful for the few tokens she did get. Gwen heard a noise and realised that a note had been passed under the door, she looked out of the window just in time to see the back of Merlin's head.

Gwen immediately grabbed the note and opened it up.

"_I am sorry for having not written for the last few days...but know my feelings for you are as strong as an ox! Yours faithfully your Secret A_"

"Love for me is a strong as an OX?" Gwen read it again, well it certainly wasn't like the other letters she had received which were much better thought out and romantic...she held it to her heart _but it was from Arthur _and she couldn't help but laugh with joy.

Arthur watched as Guinevere walked to work a smile now on her face again and Arthur laughed.

"I take it she liked your note?"

"That she did...now..." Arthur paced around thinking "I need flowers, lots of them she likes purple so you need to go to the eastern fields"

"But that is half a days ride" Merlin groaned.

"Well then you better get going hadn't you Merlin..."

Merlin groaned and started to leave "And when you return, we need to discuss the rest of the weeks tokens"

"The rest of the weeks, you are going to do this every day?"

Arthur stood their hands on hips "Of course, whatever that idiot can do I will do bigger and better...then we can arrange secret meetings" Arthur's face lit up as he imagined a passionate embrace.

Merlin groaned and left Arthur's chambers "What have I let myself in for?"


End file.
